Welcome, Children of the Winds
From this site, which is awesome. I've been flirting with atheism lately.
Q: If you don't believe in God, why do you spend so much time talking about Him? You don't spend time talking about the Toothfairy or Santa Claus.
A: The people who believe in the Toothfairy and Santa Claus don't vote, neither do they threaten to beat the shit out of people I care about. When people start beating my friends for not putting teeth under their pillow, or there's serious talk about defining marriage as between one man and eight tiny reindeer, I'll start complaining about that.
Q: Why do you use offensive language?
A: To offend a certain kind of people. I reference sexual and excretory functions; the people I'm mocking reference hellfire. Out of fucking, taking a shit and being burned alive, which is on your avoid-at-all-costs list for this weekend?
"Welcome and peace be with you beloved children of the west wind.
Welcome sons and daughters of Jehovah, followers of Moses and Jesus, keepers of the covenant.
Welcome gentle children of the west wind.
Welcome and peace be with you beloved children of the north wind.
Welcome sons and daughters of earth, followers of shamans, seekers of moon and sun.
Welcome gentle children of the north wind.
Welcome and peace be with you beloved children of the east wind.
Welcome sons and daughters of the Tao, followers of Confucius and Buddha, casters of the I-Ching.
Welcome gentle children of the east wind.
Welcome and peace be with you beloved children of the south wind.
Welcome sons and daughters of the pyramids, followers of old ways made new, catchers of dreams.
Welcome gentle children of the south wind.
Welcome and peace be with you beloved children of the other winds.
Welcome whoever's son or daughter you may be, no less the pilgrim for traveling your own path.
Welcome gentle children of the other winds.
Welcome and peace to all the children of all of the winds,
Great and small, beloved one and all.
Welcome brothers and sisters. Let the winds blow you to the truth.
Then, gentle children, heads full of air, you can blow me."